


Nightmare

by HunterusHeroicus93



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e10 Silent Night, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Malcolm Bright Whump, Referenced Drug Abuse, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21855415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterusHeroicus93/pseuds/HunterusHeroicus93
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Nightmare

Malcolm wasn’t really afraid of dying. Or so he thought. When faced with danger, his first thought was of his partner. Every instinct screamed at him to get them away, to pull them to safety. But none of those instincts told  _ him  _ to survive.   
  
The first time he took a bullet for someone, in his first year with the FBI, adrenaline pumped through him for days. He felt excited, almost ecstatic, that he had saved someone’s life. He barely felt the pain coursing through his shoulder. He had been called a hero, his colleagues had showered him with praise. His partner’s family had sent him gifts, tokens of their gratitude. He’d been embarrassed, and shrugged it all off, but on the inside, he was glowing. This man had people who cared for him, and they would get to spend more time with him now, and that was all the thanks Malcolm needed. Knowing that his partner was safe, and his family wouldn’t have to grieve.   
  
When he overdosed on his medication, he felt relieved. Calm. He wouldn’t have to suffer any more. No more night terrors. No more waking, screaming, images of his father flashing through his mind. No more panic attacks, the weight of his troubles crushing him until he could no longer breathe. He felt disappointment when the ambulance came and rushed him to hospital to have his stomach pumped. Shame and guilt when his family came to see him, and his mother screamed and cried and hugged him and told him how stupid he’d been, and Ainsley just sobbed, because she couldn’t understand how her brother could want to leave them like that.   
  
When he and Gil had paid a visit to an unhinged, drunk ex-cop who had immediately pulled a gun on them, he hadn’t been afraid. He stared into the barrel and prayed that Shannon would fire at him, and not Gil. When Gil had stepped in front of him as Shannon lunged, he felt… confusion. That someone could put themselves in harm’s way for him. That someone would take a hit, or worse, just to protect him, as he had done so many times for others.   
  
But now, lying on a filthy floor, somewhere underground, his hands cuffed and bloody, with only the light of a few lamps on the wall to keep him company.   
  
Now, thinking of his family, and the friends he had made at the NYPD, of Gil, and how angry he was whenever Malcolm ran off to do something stupid, but also relieved that he always came back. How upset Gil would be if he didn’t come back this time. Thinking of Dani, and Edrisa, and even JT, and that they actually might miss him if he didn’t make it home.   
  
Now, he was  _ terrified _ .


End file.
